The Death of Navi
by Hylian Rider
Summary: FINISHED. This is a repost because the first one needed work. The death of the most annoying people in the game. Warings: NO SPORK and people are out of charter. If you like it R&R and if this story suck tell WHY Rated M for swearing.
1. The Death of Navi

The Death of Navi By:

Chris Boyer

I give part of the credit to the Zelda Characters without whom I would have no story. May Navi stay dead.

Disclaimer: I don't own Link Navi or any body else in this story but I do own the story line R&R PLZ. And Thanks to all my reviewers on my other stories.

One day in the middle of well... nowhere on one of Link's many days of well... doing nothing while he was supposed to be doing something incredibly important. Link was relaxing near a tree in a nice area that wasn't in the game, Link said to Navi, his fairy. "Hey Navi."

"If this is another one of your stupid questions about a FREAKING monster I will personally kill you." The Fairy responded.

"I don't know why I even ever asked you anything in the fire temple did you help against the big flaming dragon no you just said 'I don't know the weak point' so thats why we are here hiding." Just as Link was about to continue, Navi interrupted and said one her most famous catch lines.

"Hey, listen."

Knowing perfectly well where this was going to go Link could only say, "OH NO!" Of course that would not stop the determined Navi.

"Hey listen." Link was getting very angry with the excuse for a fairy. So Link said the most insulting thing you can say to a fairy,

"Ok I'm being honest here shut up or I am going to trap you in a bottle." It was as though nothing could stop the awesome power of Navi's catch phrase.

"Hey listen." Link always held on to his threats.

"That's it." And true to his word Link put Navi in a bottle, But Navi's all-annoying voice could not be stopped by glass.

"Hey listen." Then the glass broke into thousands of shards. Link never really liked Navi much anyway.

"You JERK of a fairy, you broke my best bottle." Navi apparently has no regret for anything as all Zelda fans know.

"Hey listen." Link really couldn't take anymore.

"This is a fate worse than death Gannondorf I'm all yours." And the king of evil came out of the sky in front of Link.

"DIE RIGHT NOW." and Gannondorf killed Link with a sword, (Because that energy ball is cheap.) Though the all-annoying fairy was too small to kill and started circling Link's body bringing him back to life.

"Hey Listen." Link was simply dumb-struck.

"Hey If you could do that the whole time why do we use the red fairies!"

"Hey listen."

Link gave in, "All right I'll bite. What?" But just because Navi is an idiot she said (It is a she right?)

"Hey listen." Gannondorf guessed he could leave now.

"She's your problem Hero I hope she kills you." Link thought at this rate Navi might kill him.

"Hey listen." Link had grown tired of this.

"For the love of Din WHAT!" "Hey listen." Link was going kill Navi off now.

"I am so sick of you." and he shot Navi with an arrow then a new Navi flew in.

"Hey listen." Navi had multiple stunt doubles for no reason at all.

"OH MY GOSH HOW MANY STUNT DOUBLES DO YOU HAVE ABOUT 9 HAVE ALREADY DIED." Navi is either very annoying or stupid... or both.

"Hey Listen." At this point there is no stopping Navi and all Link can do is yell at her for hours.

"I REALLY hate you do you know that?" "Hey listen." Realizing he can't do this on his own he calls in for a reinforcement. "ZELDA!" But Navi being so incredibly stupid keeps going.

"Hey listen." Zelda appears out of nowhere and being just as stupid as Navi asks.

"What is it Link?"

"Hey listen" Link has to yell at Zelda to get anything through her thick head.

"KILL THAT FAIRY PLEASE!"

"Hey listen."

But Zelda being the wasteful idiot she was in Ocarina of Time says, "Screw that she's your problem." And walks off.

Then Navi filling her only purpose in the whole game says yet again, "Hey listen."

Link has decided to actually do what he was supposed to and says, "Screw this we're going back to the fire temple."

There Navi decided it was time to say "Hey listen." When they finally got to the fire temple. (Because Navi broke his ocarina being the idiot she is.) They started heading to the boss door that hid unexpectedly... the boss.

"Hey listen."

"Ok really shut up." Link said as he stepped through the door.

"Hey listen." That's I give up. I'm Leaving. The new narrator will be here soon.

"Hey listen."

"Let's focus on me. Come Navi I hope that dragon kills you."

"Hey listen." I got a new job guys. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Ok really shut up. You're annoying."

"Hey listen" The Big-flaming-dragon-thing-of-doom came out of the ground and actually spoke to Link or me I don't know I'm a idiot. Hey listen.

"NAVI IS THE NEW NARRATOR NO IT'S NOT FAIR THAT'S 24 HOUR A DAY PAIN." Yeah that's right and there's nothing you can do about it.

"Time to Die." That's the darn dragon. Now for my best line ever. Hey listen.

"Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen"

"Oh no you brought HER." He didn't bring me I came. But anyway I decided to get rid of that annoying Big-flaming-dragon-thing-of-doom.

"Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen Hey listen."

"No I can't... take... it... any... more." And then It died thanks to Navi the mighty. Hey listen.

"Hey listen'" Then Link asked his stupid question. Hey listen.

"Is it important this time like you won't say the death mountain looks odd even though we're in here?" Do I ever say anything important EVER? Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"You are a curse even the enemy hates you." Thank you very much that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"I hate you so much." We all live in a giant circle of hate. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"WE NEED THE OLD NARRATOR." Your just against fairies. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Oh, Din, I'm cursed."

"Hey listen."

"FOR THE LOVE OF DIN WHY DO YOU EVEN EXIST ALL YOU EVER DO IS SAY-"

"Hey listen." "Yeah That." Not true I also say watch out I just like to annoy people.

"Hey listen." "That's it." OW, Link why did you step on me? Hey listen. "Hey listen."

"OH MY GOSH."

"Hey listen."At this point my stunt double flew in. Hey listen.

"Why do you even have stunt doubles? Your a fairy."

"Hey listen."

"TAEL!"

"Hey listen."

"Hey Link."

"Hey listen."

"Yeah you are messed up."

"Hey listen."

"Tael will you be my fairy because your useful and Navi well... isn't... Ever." That's just plain mean. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"On one condition."

"Hey listen."

"What."

"Hey listen."

"WE KILL NAVI NOW." Oh watch, this is priceless. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Agreed." Tael and Link kill me (A/N: A.K.A. THE ANNOYANCE) or so he thinks. Hey listen.

"Ha ha ha I was Navi in disguise." I took off that stupid costume and Link had asked me to be his fairy.

"Hey listen."

"I hate you so much."

"Hey listen."

"I will pay 500 rupees to the life form that kills Navi." Hey that almost sounded like Link doesn't like me. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Yeah that thing." Thousands try to kill me and fail but I can't give you detail or the rating might have to change because no one shows a fairy pity. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Great Deku Tree Sprouts in the sky Navi what have you done to me." I didn't do anything... much... a little... or more. Hey listen.

"Hey listen." Suddenly the Great Deku Sprout appeared. Hey listen.

"Link there is one way to kill Navi."

"Hey listen."

"Forget it dude she's too annoying goodbye." Then the tree left... somehow. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Your annoying me to no end Navi." That sounded a Little offensive. Just for that I'm not helping. Hey listen.

"FINALLY SOME FREAKING PEACE AND SILENCE."

"Hey listen."

"Hey listen."

"I quit even $15 an hour isn't worth this." Oh boy, Link and the Director will start arguing now. Hey listen.

"Hey listen."

"Dude you signed the contract your stuck here until the game is out in 2007, March."

"Hey listen."

"Well my contract DIDN'T include Fairies as annoying as heck!"

"Hey listen."

"How do you know what your contract includes you can't even read."

"Hey listen."

"Um... Guess I gotta give that one to you."

"Hey listen." "DO YOU HAVE SOUND PROOF WALLS OR ANYTHING?"

"Hey listen."

"Sure thing one second."

"Hey listen." Hey this guy is putting walls around me and oh shiny shiny lights must stare at lights and repeat catch phrase. Hey listen.

"I can still hear her."

"Hey listen."

"Oh you wanted sound prove walls that worked sorry dude I'm too cheap for that."

"Hey listen."

"Your cheap? I get paid $15 an hour."

"Hey listen."

"Yeah but look at your comrade."

"Hey listen."

"Never mind I see your point."

"Hey listen." What kinda crap is this I leave to go get lunch and you replace me with a fairy. (I'm better than you.) That's it let's get this on ball of light thingy. (Hey listen.) AH you are a worthy enemy but now I will kill you. (Hey listen.) PAIN must hold on will not listen. (Hey listen.) NO I must live. (Hey listen.)

"That narrator is going to die but he's better than Navi. Navi I will give you some happy fairy cookie if you come down." YEAH cookie but I like the light. Hmmmmmm... Light/cookie Light/cookie COOKIE.

"Hey listen." Now that I have regained my post NAVI IS A DUMB IDIOT. Angry glares from Navi fans (That don't really exist, guns are loaded) I mean Navi is different. (Crowd leaves.)

"Hey listen." VERY different.

"Hey listen."

"Navi shut the crap UP! Everyone hates You. The narrator hates you. The director hates you. And I hate you to no end." Then suddenly a cry of Navi's all powerful catch phrase reached the skies. The three goddesses decided that giving Navi life was a mistake. So, they killed Navi and all of her hundreds of stunt doubles. And Hyrule became a better place. The End


	2. AN

Authors note:

I know the story is called Death of Navi but I decided to take it father and kill off a few more of the Ocarina of Time's most annoying charters besides the already dead Navi.


	3. The Death of Ruto

Disclaimer: I don't own two lines in here. the horse freshener one and the princess sushi was the Idea of Umi Kanshisha. I also don't own the charter sorry about the previously un-credited people. Enjoy the story.

"Joy to the world Navi is dead." Link gladly sang for the hundredth time that day. He hadn't gotten over the final death of his ex-fairy. While nobody could blame him, Zelda found humor in shooting light arrows at him. But as he was the Hero of Time the cheap game creators couldn't let Link be killed off, so Link just kept getting up again and again and again.

"Joy to the world Navi is-" Link began.

"Alright Link we get the freaking point already." Zelda shouted at Link.

Link had gone stupid by this time and didn't heed the warning. "Everybody now, Joy to-"

"SHUT UP!" Gannon and Zelda yelled at him. Link stared at Gannon for a long time.

"Saria, when did you get here?" Gannondorf was staring dumb-struck.

"Link you idiot, I'm Gannondorf, your arch enemy, your rival. Then Gannon looked at one of Zelda's arrows. The label read: Stupidity arrow.

"Zelda you $&, take the curse off him." Zelda sadly did as he asked.

Just then a voice almost as bad as Navi's rent the air, "Oh Linky poo."

"Aw crap, double crap, triple crap, infinite crap, this town has officially become the site of the crap feast, super crap-orama, CRAP." Link cursed.

"LINK!" Yelled a demon fish being, Ruto. That fish had declared herself Links wife and Link hadn't been able to get away from her.

"Saria help me." Link called to Gannondorf.

"For the last time my name is Gannondorf, learn it."

Link stared at Gannondorf. "I think I would remember a name _that_ retarded. Nope you are certainly Ruto, Ruto is here? Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap running running running."

Ruto ran after Link calling, "Linky wait for me."

"No way four-eyed food." Link called over his shoulder.

"Aw that was sweet." Ruto said in glowing admiration.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? GET A LIFE QUIT STALKING ME!" Link yelled at the top of his voice.

Ruto stared hurt. "You might want to be careful Link or you'll lose me."

Link was really ticked off. "Now your dead."

"NO," Zelda held Link back. "Link if you kill her, then Gannon will be free."

Link looked at Zelda. "Zelda you idiot, he is right there."

Gannon laughed, "Ha so you do see me."

"Darn well... Ruto's dead anyway." Link said.

Zelda held Link back again. "Link, Ruto is important to the story line."

"So was Navi," Link retorted. "But nobody here would bring her back if they could."

"Link are you cheating on me?" Ruto yelled at him.

"RUTO get over it. I never liked you at all. I only saved you for the stone. On top of that your father is a gigantic blubber head who sits all day and can't remember how to walk."Link continued his rant for many hours until Zelda shot at him and hit his hat.

Link stared at Zelda with a mad glint in his eyes, "DON'T EVER,_ EVER,_ KNOCK OFF THE HAT!" Link took out the Master Sword at gave Zelda a crude and revolting haircut. Meanwhile Ruto had grabbed Link's hat and (for no reason whatsoever) started petting it.

Link looked at her and yelled, "You've got three seconds to put, the hat, down. ONE," Link pulled out his bow and knocked an arrow. Ruto still pet the hat. "TWO," Link pulled back with a strong force this would kill Ruto. Ruto whimpered and looked at the hat. "THREE." Link shot as Ruto dropped his hat. The arrow hit her in the back of the head. He walked over to her and picked up the fallen hat. after washing it, he returned it to his head.

Pulling out his sword, Link walked up the Ruto, almost dead. "Don't ever touch the hat Sushi Queen." Then Link stabbed Ruto until satisfied that she was dead. The others stared at a loss for words. Zelda moved a few steps back from Link.

Link looked at Ruto's body and said, "Anyone have a horse freshener or something the fish smells." (A/N Ordinarily it's a car freshener but they ride horses not drive cars so there you go.)

Gannondorf walked up pulled two items out of his pocket and asked, "Cherry or Pine tree?"

"Pine tree- wait why do you carry these around with you?" Link asked, taking the freshener from Gannon.

Gannondorf stared at his shoes. "Because."

"Ok..." Link put the freshener over the fish-like body.

Zelda turn and yelled at Link, "GREAT JOB LINK NOW THERE IS NO WATER SAGE!"

"Who cares. Everyone who is a fan already beat the game. Joy the world Ruto and Navi are dead." Link said defensively. At that moment there was the sound of flapping wings overhead and a shadow passed over Link for a moment. Then a huge animal landed in front of Link.

"Who are you! Say something." Link demanded.


	4. The Death of Keapora Geapora

At that moment there was the sound of flapping wings overhead and a shadow passed over Link for a moment. Then a huge animal landed in front of Link.

"Who are you! Say something." Link demanded. The owl opened it's beak wide.

"Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword." Said Keporea Geapora.

"OH DIN NO!" Shouted everyone present except Keporea Geapora. But the groups curses didn't hinder the owl.

"To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly."

"Shut up, shut up please, shut the hell up." Link said.

"Although simply walking is useful," Continued Keporea Geapora. Gannon simply stared at him. Link was trying to ignore the owl, and poked Gannondorf out of interest in the reaction. Tough Gannon did nothing whatsoever to stop Link.

"You will often need to- **HEY YOUR NOT LISTENING TOO ME.**" The Owl shouted then pecked Link half to death.

"Now," Said Keporea Geapora. "Where was I? Hm... can't remember guess I'll have to start all over. Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword." Said Keporea Geapora again.

"No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" Link cried out.

"To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly." Recited the owl.

"**I know**." Shouted Link.

"Shut up Link, if you keep interrupting he'll just keep going." Zelda said.

"Although simply walking is useful," Continued Keporea Geapora. "You will often need to run. The way you run is to push higher up on the control stick until it can't go any higher, and then you can- HEY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" The Owl yelled.

"Huh, oh oh yeah." Link lied.

"Then what did I say?"

"Something about the stick." Said Link confidently.

"WRONG." Shouted Keporea Geapora. Then he peaked Link again.

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!" Cried Link.

"I'm not crying! Stupid Narrator." Yes you are I can see tears.

"Shut up, I'm starting to think I liked Navi better." You might want to be silent. I can bring her back.

"**HEY LINK IS SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING TO ME!**" Yelled Keporea Geapora. "Now I will properly say my speech." Hey, Link would you like Keporea Geapora to be your narrator.

"SHUT UP!" Sorry I'll do my job now. "Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword. To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly. Although simply walking is useful, You will often need to run. The way you run is to push higher up on the control stick until it can't go any higher, and then you can jump. To jump you simply run straight off the ledge and if done properly you should jump. Jumping may often get you to places that you can't get to by walking or running. Do you understand?" Asked Keporea Geapora.

"Yes I got it." Said Link.

"Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword. To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly. Although simply walking is useful, You will often need to run. The way you run is to push higher up on the control stick until it can't go any higher, and then you can jump. To jump you simply run straight off the ledge and if done properly you should jump. Jumping may often get you to places that you can't get to by walking or running. Do you understand?" Asked Keporea Geapora again.

"YES I UNDERSTAND YOU AND ALL YOUR REPEATING SPEECH!" Link yelled at the owl.

"Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword. To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly. Although simply walking is useful, You will often need to run. The way you run is to push higher up on the control stick until it can't go any higher, and then you can jump. To jump you simply run straight off the ledge and if done properly you should jump. Jumping may often get you to places that you can't get to by walking or running. Do you understand?" Asked Keporea Geapora again.

"Ok if yes doesn't work then no I don't understand." Link tried.

"Hello I'm Keporea Geapora, and I am here to tell you all about walking even tough you already know how to use your sword. To walk you simply push the control stick forward sightly. Although simply walking is useful, You will often need to run. The way you run is to push higher up on the control stick until it can't go any higher, and then you can jump. To jump you simply run straight off the ledge and if done properly you should jump. Jumping may often get you to places that you can't get to by walking or running. Do you understand?" Asked Keporea Geapora again.

"That's it," Link said. "Ready," Several arrows were put to bow strings. "Aim," Keporea Geapora saw the tips of arrows held by many townspeople. "FIRE!" Arrows came and passed through him.

"Puny human no man can slay me." Then the owl looked down and saw the multiple holes in his guts. "SON OF A #&!#$!"

"Hey," Link yelled. "You can't swear. This story is for teens, now they'll start swearing your a bad influence."

"You didn't yell at Gannondorf when he swore." Said Keporea Geapora.

"That's because he's on a importability he isn't really supposed to be here."

"NO, don't get rid of me, PLEASE!" Yelled the owl but, a odd light surrounded him. And a blot of lighting struck Keporea Geapora then he started to burn. Link stated at the spot where the menace had been.

_Navi, Ruto, and now Keporea Geapora. Today might not be so bad after all. _Thought Link.B


	5. The Death of Zelda

"That's it," Link said. "Ready," Several arrows were put to bow strings. "Aim," Keporea Geapora saw the tips of arrows held by many townspeople. "FIRE!" Arrows came and passed through him.

"Puny human no man can slay me." Then the owl looked down and saw the multiple holes in his guts. "SON OF A #&!#$!"

"Hey," Link yelled. "You can't swear. This story is for teens, now they'll start swearing your a bad influence."

"You didn't yell at Gannondorf when he swore." Said Keporea Geapora.

"That's because he's on a importability he isn't really supposed to be here."

"NO, don't get rid of me, PLEASE!" Yelled the owl but, a odd light surrounded him. And a blot of lighting struck Keporea Geapora then he started to burn. Link stated at the spot where the menace had been.

_Navi, Ruto, and now Keporea Geapora. Today might not be so bad after all. _Thought Link as Keporea Geapora burned to death.

"Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, and Keporea Geapora are dead," Link sang.

"Link, there is no way the you can sing about the death of three people and still be in tune with the song the song should go like this, doodoodoo doodoo doo doo doo doodoo." Said Zelda.

"And she's off again." Wispered Link.

"Putting three deaths in there isn't something even I could do Link. Come on do you even remember what the songs actual lyrics were?" Zelda continued.

"Does anyone really care?" Asked Link. Gannon shook his head.

"SOME people MIGHT care somewhere. Link think about their cares." Zelda said pathetically.

"Wow now I need to sing properly too. You now what Zelda? How would it be if I simply refused to save Hyrule and your pitiful life? Yeah life would kinda suck for you then wouldn't it. After Hyrule was saved I bet you went around bragging about what a great job you did." Link went through a ranting chant.

"Link, You dumb shi-" Zelda started but Link overrode her.

"Now if I refuse to save Hyrule you might actually have to get off your ass and do something other then teach me songs, give me an arrow, give me stupid hints, and throw an Ocarina at me."

"Not true I also did that really cool disappear thing as Sheik."

"There's another thing to hide for seven years you cross-dressed was that your first decision or was that a last resort because I stayed safe by sleeping and kicking bad guy ass."

"You know guys I am still standing here. Me great king of evil you know." Gannondorf said.

"SHUT UP." Both Zelda and Link yelled at the same time.

"Ok I'm done now." Gannon left to go sulk somewhere. Zelda and Link were both fighting pointing out flaws in the other and pride in themselves. Link seemed to be right and was winning the argument. Zelda eventually gave up and went to sulk with Gannondorf.

After many hours of sulking, Zelda muttered something along the lines of, "Stupid green hat, why does he like it so much anyway?" Link meanwhile was softly singing the song over and over again.

"I know we should start a band!" Gannon said.

"That was sudden and unusual. What made you think of that?"

"I've been think about it all this time." He stated simply.

"Well..." Link said.

"I've decided that Link should play the bagpipes!" Gannondorf said happily.

"You crap-head, I have an Ocarina none of us has the bagpipes." Link said angrily.

"Great now your gonna say none of us has a gun either." Gannon said.

"NONE OF DO HAVE A GUN WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A FREAKING PEN!"

"Well... yeah fuck this I'm gonna go join the XBOX 360 lovers fan club."

"WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT MODERN TECHNOLOGY." Link Yelled.

"Well that's the narrator fault not mine." Hey I'm just tying to make this interesting.

"Well screw you I'm leaving!" Please do, let me assist you. Suddenly a large hand dropped down strangled Zelda and flew back up.

Gannon heard, "Run away or you will get the same as her." Gannon sprinted for the exit as fast as he could.

Link stared at Zelda she was alive but barely, "Die you fucking childhood stealing bitch." And Link stabbed her with his sword.

Then he sang loudly, "Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Keporea Geapora, and Zelda are dead."

"Actually I'm getting better." Said Zelda.

"No your not and your not fooling anyone you know." Link said.

"I'll be alright." She muttered.

"Narrator Little help please." And Zelda was suddenly hit by a rocket fired form a rocket launcher.

A voice came through, "What do you mean no rockets this is HALO dude, Rockets are the best thing there is."

Then Link sang loudly, "Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Keporea Geapora, and Zelda are dead."


	6. The Death of Tingle

Link sang loudly, "Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Keporea Geapora, and Zelda are dead. Everybody now and wait there's nobody here... well this is awkward."

"Tingle-Tingle Kooloo-Limpa!"

Link looked up and said, "Oh crap!" A messed up 30 year old freak dropped from the sky in front of Link.

"Hello Mr. Fairy! Tingle hopes one day he will get a fairy. Would you like a map? Only 798 rupees that's 798 more then in the dungeons. price that's a bargain."

"Idiot I had been through every part of Hyrule and know them by heart why the heck would I need a map?" Link asked.

"Because Maps are cool?" Tingle guessed.

"Wrong answer, next." Link said.

"Tingle thinks that these think."

"What the Din did that mean? And how come you talk about yourself in third person?" Link asked.

"Well um... that information is restricted unless you buy this map." Tingle said.

"Ok fine, got change for eight hundred rupees? Cheap rupee pinching thief."

"Of course, Mr. fairy. Wait something is different about you..." For Tingle being retarded just now realized Navi's disappearance.

"Ok, well this is a good opportunity." Link said, drawing the Master Sword. Link ran forward aiming a killing blow a Tingle's head.

"Wait Mr. Fairy you didn't take your map yet." Tingle cried in desperation. Link took the map, and it showed a simple map of the Temple of Time which Link knew inside out.

"Why did you even make a map for this?" Link asked. Tingle panicked and tried get around the right answer.

"I don't know why, but beheading me won't tell you anything!" Tingle said pitifully.

"Can you prove that?" Link asked, bringing a good point. "Because beheading you seems to bring a good feeling to my heart."

"Yes I can prove it by... um... well blowing up this balloon out of my back. HA HA HA HA." Tingle said stretching the belief of his sanity even more. Link ran forward Master Sword cutting the air when seconds ago Tingle's head had been.

"If that's how you want it," Said Tingle. "Japanese fight style!" Tingle dropped into the most pathetic fighting style ever seen in Hyrule. Or anywhere else for that matter. Link pulled a dagger out of his belt and threw it at Tingle. It hit his mouth hilt-first knocking out three of his teeth.

"Ha you look like a hockey player!" Link laughed at Tingle loudly. Then suddenly a odd set of circumstances that can only be explained as a Halo 2 contest gone wild. A rocket came out of nowhere and hit Tingle. As the little man flew in the air a plasma grenade stuck to his head. After it exploded several plasma shot hit him and he collapsed in a heap. An energy sword came by and stuck in his gut making him flip over backwards and pushed into a standing situation. Tingle didn't speak because of the pain. A warthog was tumbling down and landed right on top of him. Suddenly a missile fired from a tank hit Tingle square in the chest. It was a wonder that he was still alive.

When Tingle landed in front of Link he looked up, saw the Master Sword in Link's hand grabbed it and said, "Oh happy sword this is thy sheath. There rust and let me die." Tingle stabbed himself. After a few seconds Link walked over to his body, pulled out the Master Sword. His work was almost complete who was still left now who challenged him now?

"Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Keporea Geapora, Zelda, and Tingle are dead."


	7. The Death of King Zora

When Tingle landed in front of Link he looked up, saw the Master Sword in Link's hand grabbed it and said, "Oh happy sword this is thy sheath. There rust and let me die." Tingle stabbed himself. After a few seconds Link walked over to his body, pulled out the Master Sword. His work was almost complete who was still left now who challenged him now?

"Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Zelda, Keporea Geapora, and Tingle are dead." Now Link was dreadfully alone.

"I know I will annoy the fat that is Ruto's daddy. Wait... that sounded weird." Eventually Link found a way into Zora's Domain but, it was blocked by a huge waterfall that could only be slowed down by the power of the Ocarina of Time.

"Man even tough she is dead she still annoys me, she broke the Ocarina of Time, Stupid fairy." Link instead tried whistling into the hole, but Link had never mastered the art so, nothing happened. Link tried the song many times and failed. Eventually Link pulled out his bow and arrow, tied a rope to the arrow and shot into the hole.

Link heard the _thunk_ of the arrow accompanied by a cry of "Ow!" Link grabbed the rope and swung into the hole. The first sight he saw was King Zora, on his side, on the ice that had formed.

"Link help me please!" The King pleaded.

"Why should I help you?" Link asked.

"Because you caused my to be like this. When I tried to dodge your arrow I fell down and landed on my hip because I'm slow and out of shape." The King Complained.

"And this is my problem because?" Link asked.

"Um... pass?" The King said pathetically.

"Oh I suppose I'd better tell you this now because your stuck on the ice, to but it blunt I killed your daughter." Link said quietly.

"WHAT!" The King said angrily.

"I, killed, your, daughter." Said Link slowly. This time the King did not respond but slid unto his butt, and pushed off the floor bouncing towards Link to sit on him and squish him. Link barley rolled out of the way and threw a lit bomb under the King's gigantic butt. Just as planned an explosion came. Then as the king landed from a leap towards Link, another explosion came that was from no bomb. The smell of the fart bomb nearly knocked Link out. Link performed the spin attack to clear the air around him just in time see the gigantic butt flying towards him, dodging again Link noticed large cracks in the ice.

_If I can get him to bounce in the same spot three times the ice might break. Ha like I needed Navi's help. _Link ran over and fell into particle crater the King had made. As expected the King fell on the crater and made it deeper. Link dodged the King again and again eventually Link got back to the, now deeper, crater but as the King flung towards him yet again, everything went horribly wrong. Link suddenly realized he could not get out. The crater was too deep. The King's butt hit him with the force of a thousand bricks, and the fart that followed pushed Link through the thin remaining layer of ice. Link found that he was surrounded by ice and a very very heavy _thing _was on top of him.

_Ok, this is about the worst situation that I have ever been in. I've gone through temple's survived Gannondorf attacks several times, defied the laws of physics by dodging Halo weapons, but this this really beats 'em all, I am trapped about a hundred miles under the ocean or something with a drowning Zora King on top of me. _Suddenly the King gasped and collapsed.

_Ok, now I am trapped one hundred miles under the ocean with a dead Zora king on top of me, perfect I was supposed to die in battle not under the guy's butt. This stinks literally, I mean it this guy must eat beans or something, because even underwater he smells bad. This is all Navi's fault I may not know how or why or in fact ever see the undeniable proof that I know is there. But Navi's ghost has come back to kill me. Hey wait, if the guys who made the game need me they won't let me so then I can't die right? _Suddenly a copy of Link's gaming contract floated in front of him. Reading down it Link found the words, "And you must never actually kill any real life-forms."

_Oh crap, crap. Whenever I killed Navi or Ruto whichever was actually my fault first must have ended the contract. I... have... to... get... free. _Link kicked and thrashed about but couldn't get free he tried to reach his bow but found the King had broken it with his gigantic underside. He pulled out the hookshot and found it had turned to rust. He tried to pull out the sword for several seconds and finally it came free of the sheath. Link stabbed the sword into the ground and pulled on the handle finally Link was free.

As Link surfaced he put the Master Sword away and sang loudly through the whole domain, "Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Zelda, Keporea Geapora,Tingle and King Zora are dead."


	8. AN2

I regret to say that the next chapter shall be the last in this story, for reasons that will makes sense after reading it. All I have left to say is thanks to all my helpful and supportive reviews, without whom I would never have posted anything over the first chapter. There are no plans to make a sequal but I may if I find many enjoy this story may all the annoying Zelda charters stay dead!


	9. The Death of Link

Link kicked and thrashed about but couldn't get free he tried to reach his bow but found the King had broken it with his gigantic underside. He pulled out the hookshot and found it had turned to rust. He tried to pull out the sword for several seconds and finally it came free of the sheath. Link stabbed the sword into the ground and pulled on the handle finally Link was free.

As Link surfaced he put the Master Sword away and sang loudly through the whole domain, "Joy to the world Navi, Ruto, Zelda, Keporea Geapora,Tingle and King Zora are dead." Now Link decided it was time to pay a visit to the betraying video game designers. Link walked out unto Hyrule's soft grounds. He called for his horse, Epona but she didn't come, yet another curse from the stupid fairy. Link ran quickly to the castle-town gate and leapt as the draw-bridge slammed shut.

Suddenly Link hearing caught the sound of a voice. "NO! Oh no! Oh, curse this day!" Link walked up and saw a man keeling and weeping.

"What's wrong?" Link asked, not really caring to know the answer but pretending to.

"My Tree is DEAD! Hath thou not yet heard this ill news!" The man said speaking from who knew what time frame.

"So, who cares it's just a stupid tree." Said Link.

The man drew himself up proudly, "Nay sir, how can thou speaketh such lies? That tree was the Sun that would arise every morn' and kill the hateful moon. If thou seeks to insult me thou hath met thine goal and for that offense, I bid you stand for your honor, turn and draw if are man enough, and defeated by my hand, then my honor shall be regained."

"Um... ok it is still a dumb tree." Link said.

"Hold your own tongue and be silent and fight or be dishonored. Which will thou hath it be?"

"Ok, I'm lost all I got was that your stupid tree is dead and then your talking in who knows what language."

"I hath had enough of thou's vile speech, fight or never look your house in the face again." The man said.

"I don't know about you, but my house doesn't have a face or do you have a staring contest with your tree?" Link asked.

"Fine, if thou wilt not fight then thou hath lost all honor in your name." The man said.

"If it's a fight you want bring it on." Link said.

"I only fight those who have the same amount of honor as me." The man taunted.

"It doesn't get much more pathetic then crying over a dead tree." Link retorted. The man gave no verbal reply, but drew his sword and slashed at him. Link drew the Master Sword and parried the blow. Link drew a dagger out of his pocket and threw it at the man. The man merely caught the dagger and stabbed Link with it. Link grabbed the man's wrist and kicked him in the gut. Then Link bashed his head into the man's knee. Suddenly everything changed. He was on, of all things in the universe, a cloud. Suddenly, A blue light appeared.

"What the..." Link said.

Then a voice said, "Hey Listen." And all was made terribly clear.

"NO! NO! NO! CRAP CRAP! YOU WERE KILLED HOW THE HECK ARE YOU HERE?" Link yelled loudly. Navi didn't help the situation much.

"Hey Listen."

"Shut up! I need to find out where I am." The man hadn't won the duel, Link was sure of that.

"Link." A terrible voice said.

"WHO'S THERE! I warn you I'm armed." Link said and pushed Navi in front of him.

"I am... your creator!" The voice said.

"Sure... ok, why am I here? I was in the middle of something important."

"Hey Listen!" Said Navi beginning to feel left out.

"And you shut up! Your not helping!" Link snapped at Navi.

"Actually, she is." The voice said.

"Help me what, watch paint dry?" Link asked.

"Hey Listen." Said Navi.

"She is, once again, your guide." The voice said delivering it's death sentence. "It is your punishment for killing so many of my creations."

"That's cruel where are we going?" Link asked, drawing his sword.

An few minutes later Link was standing on top of a cliff with, ironically, no bottom with a budgie cord around his waist. Link took a deep breath.

"Hey Listen."

"So, how are you my guide again?" Strangely Navi didn't answer him because she was too busy staring at a flaming candle. This was retarded, Link had to grab a skull on a crack in the hole and shoot back up with it.

"WHAT? You never told me that!" Yes I did you weren't listening.

"Well it's the writer's fault, I forced to do all this." Link complained.

"Hey don't snap at me I can make life unpleasant for you!" Snapped the writer.

"Well it is the narrator's fault." Don't blame me I'm just here to see the show.

"Hey Listen." Link walk a few paces back took a deep breath and ran forward. As he leapt off the cliff Navi vanished along with the cord. A swooping sensation filled Link and he fell. Soon all light disappeared, and Link fell forever.


	10. AN3

I have FINALLY made a sequel to this and I know you will all want to read it. It is going to be "The return of Navi" Though it brings the whole gang back. There is no point to the sequel. I hope you will all read it. It will be up soon.


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